A lack of self worth and feeling not good enough may be one of the biggest dis-eases on the planet.
So much pain, suffering in humans and their actions comes from this place of being.
I am not going to go into long lists of ways that it is created in people or to say that the contrast that created this way of thinking isn’t there. Things like upbringing, epigenitics, environment, trauma, media and many more things are all having a part in this.
Lets not say that people that are living in this space are consciously choosing to feel this way or that they wanted to feel that way, but I and many others are living examples that it is our choice to change that way of thinking.
We can spends a lifetime finding the reasons for why we are who we are. There are also lots of people to talk to about that if you need.
My interest for others and myself though is changing these inner beliefs in the fastest way possible and then really flourishing in life. To flourish I see as being in a place where a person feels fulfilled by their own doings and even when they are doing nothing. Then if they chose to they are able to work towards or achieve their dreams even if those dreams create fear and contrast.
Some of my wanting to overachieve in sports and many other traits like people pleasing and inability to commit to certain things were fueled in part by a lack of self worth. Although I wasn’t really conscious fully of this until a few years ago.
After my accident though a near complete break in confidence about healing and self worth took over to a point where it was actually inhibiting my healing and fulfillment in life. Prior to the accident it had helped me in many ways to succeed at things in life like work and goals.
There are actually many areas of lower self esteem and self worth that spur people to create incredible things or do incredible things in the world. So it isn’t all bad but ultimately it is damaging to mental, emotional and physical health and I believe does more harm in the world than benefits.
Also once you get to a place where you truly believe that you are good enough, you can achieve incredible things. Incredible things that are fueled by love, joy and passion instead of feeling the need to do them or you might not be good enough.
So I consciously became aware of what was going on and decided I was going to change this. I wasn’t aware of how to at the time due to the chaos created by my trauma yet I had a direction I wanted to head into.
Self care was a large part of the initial stages for me and limiting myself to exposure of things that I perceived as showing me I wasn’t good enough. When you are in very poor health that it quite a challenge as you can’t escape yourself and I had a laundry list of symptoms to remind me that I wasn’t healthy.
Spending time each day seeing where there was health was beneficial. At first it felt like lying but then I genuinely was able to find things. Even though my ears were ringing constantly I could still hear some other things so there was some health there. If I scratched myself then it healed even if it appeared to be at a slower rate.
Every day I would write all of these things own and practice physically and emotionally feeling appreciation for the health I did have. The more you do this the more it becomes a habit and the more it filters into other areas of your life.
Meditation and breathe work were huge initial contributors to changing mindset and beliefs. Before I started to practice these, life at that time was as a whole was very overwhelming. My brain and body weren’t working like they used to so there was a constant feeling of being crushed by all this suffering. Meditation and breathing created space for you to think from another place. My mind can become quiet enough that you start to see what is going on with yourself and the world around you with less judgement and more acceptance.
As meditation became easier and easier then I had moments of peace and love that I had never even felt before. This in itself was incredibly powerful as now I was fully aware of my perceived disabilities and real disabilities at the time yet I was able to feel immense love and appreciation.
That on its own was like taking some sort of super human pill. I wasn’t really doing much more than sitting in a chair staring out of a window every day. I was in constant pain and anxiety yet at the same time I had moments of feeling total bliss. I was getting to that place of contentment with nothing more than breathing and meditation and it was me that was creating it. I wasn’t doing anything external to myself.
So these are things I recommend everyone to spend time on no matter what your health is.
Over time I then started to notice that while I was meditating I was great and yet after coming back to the “real world” my pain, thoughts and fears would drag me back again.
This was still a huge improvement over how I was before but now I had something new, I had hope so then my time was spent meditating then when I wasn’t I was playing with things like heart rate variability, brain retraining, tapping, chanting, prayer, mantras, affirmations, I am statements. Every moment was focused on something new and assessing how it helped these wakeful moments.
Failure just became a daily practice of acceptance towards it to the point that it didn’t have the same weight that it used to for me. Every day could be seen as a massive failure compared to a healthy person yet that mindset didn’t helped me so I changed it.
Changing to a place of seeing how everything including failures are serving you is so powerful. If they don’t appear to be serving you then look for it until you find it. How is anxiety serving you?, how did the accident serve you? how did the conflict serve you? What positive things would never have come into your life without whatever it was that you have or happened to you? Then start linking these benefits to the thing that you were resisting.
Did anxiety get you to start looking after your health?, Did it get you out of a unhealthy relationship?, did it get you to find spirit? did it lead you to meditation? did it repair the relationship with your parents? Just keep going until you find more and more proof of service.
There should be a point where you feel a physiological shift in yourself and then maybe it will start to show you the divine perfection of life and how our voids create who we are and guide us when we are lost.
Then another way to reprogram your subconscious to new thoughts and patterns is by repetition and habit. So spending time every day running over in your mind and out loud that “I am enough”. Do this over and over until it just becomes habit. Personally I made the commitment that this is something to do for the rest of my life. When you really get this going and flow with that statement. When you live more time in a place of being that you are perfect just the way that you are now without changing anything it really changes your life and release a lot of internal resistance.
It also creates a space where you can allow yourself to make mistakes. When you allow failure then you open your world up to be able to create incredible things and go beyond what you thought was possible for yourself.
Well I could keep going on and there its lots more I wish to share but that seems like enough for today.
Love and peace always